Steps Forward

 Easy. That is the mantra of society. How do we make it easy? This is what they ask.  It calls us, the tantalizing draw of taking the road with less effort. I have a different viewpoint, and it isn't always popular.  How do we make us better? That is my question, the question I live by, work by, and ask on a daily basis.  Yes, hiding is easier. No, it doesn't make us better. Yes, being offended is easier. No, it isn't worth my time or energy. Yes, believing that we will never fit in is easier.  No, it doesn't make us  any  less  lonely.

 I am perfectly capable.  I think. I am also massively exhausted at times.  In truth, I feel my skills only scratch the surface of a massive skill set only the best can functionally use.  I know it is only a matter of time, but it feels oh so slow at moments.  I have been listening to an audiobook of late and it has affected my every word, bringing out a young lady from the Victorian era of whose presence in my mind I was unaware. She has taken up seemingly permanent residence and chosen to show herself frequently in my writing and speaking.  I find my current focus diverting and enjoyable, and may very well attempt to confuse my whole class on the matter. I would find the reactions delightful if it went as planned. I never could have walked into a classroom such as this with any amount of courage to be myself a few years ago, having chosen the quiet road and disappearing into silent shadows at any unfamiliar face.  Though my childhood was filled with ...

 Joy! That is what I feel right now.  I have a lot to do, and I'm excited to do it. I'm grateful for each direction God leads me in. I am around good people, in a good place, with meaning and purpose. It's not 120 degrees outside, and I can enjoy the sunshine without dying of heatstroke. I don't think it can get much better than this. Just enough challenge to make it exciting, but not enough to drown me.  Today the goal is to work on my website more and find some clients for my other work! I can't wait to find more people to lift and teach :)

 First day of the semester. Much stress, but also much opportunity.  I found the sweetest book to listen to as I go about my tasks, set back in the 1800s, and I love it! I also missed a class because of Daylight savings time. Turns out my calendar doesn't auto adjust, and I placed all my classes in when I was in another state. Oops. This is one of those get up and try again moments.  I'm here though. I showed up. I will give it my best shot. I will trust that this is where I am supposed to be.  Even as I type that though, I feel a steady sort of strength and reassurance. I feel as though I really am where I should be. That is a gift.

 Energy!  That is what I feel right now.  I just sat down to work through a process and i'm making real headway. He is starting to understand how incredibly important it is to communicate his feelings in a way people actually understand.  I read a book this evening, it was about different modes of learning.  I'm realizing that I might want to change my website a bit, because if a parent is going to try this with a kid they need to know a thing or two. The wrong approach could really turn a kid off the idea of trying to learn anything. Hands off is better than the wrong approach, so the parent would need a few simple instructions. 1. Don't force 2. Don't ask questions expecting a specific answer 3. Do be completely open and curious 4. Let them do 3 minutes of talking for your every sentence 5. No comments, positive or negative, about them and their performance This could be tough, but stepping back to let them explore, giving them space to speak, and letting thei...

 This is a learning process, and I'm learning! A safe space. I need to make it safe for the child before we settle into working.  I watched the other day as I tried to start a process, and realized after the first couple of sentences that nothing was going to get through. His shoulders were hunched, his face sullen, and his anger towards the sibling in question was evident. We had to work through that first. 

 Between tissues and Johnny Lingo I sit down to work on the invoice.  I've been working with a student now for a while, and seen clearly the happiness and joy that it has started to bring him. He walks the house singing, speaks to siblings with a gentle voice, and gets himself up at 5:30 in the morning to get to marching band.  His mother said I needed to charge more.  I balked at first, and then realized she was right.  Just because this comes more naturally to me than some doesn't make it worth less. Just because I have spent so much time learning this that now it comes naturally does not make it less valuable. Just because I make it simple doesn't change the impact. It's a strange realization.