Ever

 Wow. 

She said I always have a place here. 

It's hard to believe that I'm worth something, that I'm worth that much. It's hard to see someone believe in me, not just with words, but with actions. That is the best feeling ever. 

A second later the guilt hits. 

I'm reminded that I still have work to do in changing my core beliefs that I don't deserve success, that I'm meant to be in the background, one of the invisible unremarkable links of a chain. 

Every few moments the thoughts hit again. What am I doing here? She's just saying that. Does she mean those words? She is just being nice. It can't be me that made that difference. I'm sure there is some other reason he is so happy, it can't be me. What do they see in me? Why do they trust me after all my mistakes? 

I still haven't fully bought the idea that I could have that much potential.

Someday I will though.

Someday.

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