Always?

  Was I always this way? I can't say for sure, but I have one very specific memory that started a path of curiosity surrounding social-emotional learning.

My first year in high school I sat in a lunchroom, the floor made of white tiles, the tables a dark blue color, and the doors a bright red. I was surrounded by people I called friend, and everyone was talking.

I raised my volume, trying to get the attention of my friend across the table. She was talking at the same time. Suddenly I stopped speaking as the flash of realization hit. 

No one was listening. 

In fact, as I settled back on the bench, I realized that not a single one of my ten friends were listening to each other. What would happen if I stopped talking? I wondered, looking around. Her auburn hair swished as she gestured, the card in his hand moved as he shook it to make a point, her food sat forgotten on her plate as she laughed. 

My teenager scientist mind was instantly curious, and that day I started an experiment. I stopped talking, stopped saying anything that wasn't absolutely necessary, for two weeks straight. My hypothesis was that no one would notice.

I was right. No one noticed. For a whole two weeks. Now I had questions.

Why did people listen? What made them listen? What was worth listening to? What was that look in her eyes? Who actually cared? I also started noticing little details, emotions, and things that I hadn't seen before, because by not speaking, I ended up doing a lot more listening.

I started my research, and from that day on I've been on a path to learn and understand people and relationships, and now I get to share what I've learned with teenagers with those same questions!