Steps Forward

 She's late. I'm fidgeting.  Another student I messaged wanted to meet and talk about my business.  Exciting!  I know it's not anything huge, just another student, but it's still pretty awesome. I hope she makes it.

 Meant to. That phrase doesn't quite ring true, but part of it does.  The things I've been through are leading me.  I had an informational interview today.  She is a life coach. She has a masters in social work, but she wanted a family. Working full time with a family means you are no longer the mother, but a provider.  It means someone else mothers your children.  I never, ever want to do that.  Life coach is looking like a good option, another version of SEL tutor. We will see. I don't know if that is what I'm "Meant to" do. I do know that I can be successful at many things I put my mind to, so here goes another journey of discovery!

 The 80/20 rule isn't original. It's something I read in a book. It's also something I've been slowly implementing. I'm choosing the things that are effective over the things that give me little to nothing.  I don't do work well in the evening, so I don't.  I don't do fun as well in the mornings, so I don't. I use that time that my mind is clear to think hard, and then I use the other times to play hard.  It's working.  I'm excited! :)

 Something worked. Sometimes problems are complicated, emotional, and distressing.  Sometimes you just need a drink.  Or a hug. Or the right nutrients. Or someone to listen. Sometimes it's less complicated than we make it out to be. By a lot. More and more I am learning the value in the simple, necessary things our culture ignores in the race to the top.  It reminds me of a story that goes something like this.  Once a businessman walked up to a fisherman on the docks. He had a proposal for the fisherman. He wanted to get more boats, bigger boats, and more men. He wanted the fisherman to work with him to build a fishing empire. He began by asking the fisherman about his life.  The fisherman told him about his days. "I go out on a boat and I fish for a few hours a day. Then I go home and spend time with my family, laughing with them, crying with them, and teaching them how to work hard. I share the simple joy of sunsets with my wife and savor the little thing...

 Y'know that feeling? The feeling when you pick up a book, or in my case, turn on an audiobook, and it's just what you need. It's somehow the book that applies the most to your circumstance right now. It's almost like someone from on high just reached down and said "This one." Or maybe the other feeling, where you saw the book on social media and decided to search it up. :) Either way, sometimes the inspiration we need is just a touch away. The hope we need is within our reach.  We simply must reach for it!

There are things that are good. There are things that are better. There are things that are best.  Simple is best. I am trying to focus in, to make this happen.  I want so badly to reach the point where I'm doing things that are meaningful, making the world a better place, and preparing well for a future family with my head on straight.  Right now I think I'm doing better then I have been in the past.  The best would be to make sure and do my habit sessions when I have energy, when I have heart and soul in it, and someone to support me. That gives them a chance to serve, and me a chance to prepare myself for times that might be more of a struggle.  It's worth it. Every time.

 Have you ever had that feeling where you have dived again and again into making the same mistake so many times, and finally, you actually make the right choice.  Finally you conquer.  It's a pretty amazing feeling.  It can make a whole day to choose to step forward and choose the harder right when so many times before you have chosen the easier wrong, caving to guilt, pressure, or apathy.  It can make a whole day to make the kind of right choice that leaves you feeling strong and better rather than annoyed and not-good-enough.  The popular idea that if you make your bed first thing in the morning it makes the rest of the day better is true. In fact, for me, anything that is a struggle that I fight successfully helps lift me.  Sure I could reward myself by falling back into habits like reels. Or I could take a walk in the sunshine and turn on my favorite music :) One choice!